We like to tell ourselves that we work better alone, but the truth is that without another adult around to guide our hand, we’re just setting ourselves up for a world of hurt and regret. Even if it’s not a parent or guardian, sometimes all it takes to avoid a bad situation is to have someone around playing designated driver to our bad choices.
1. My friend told me he was getting Buzzed and I said that it sounded like a great idea.
I wish I’d known what he was talking about so I could have stopped this.
Reddit | hootersbutwithcats
2. In the wild, pizzas spook easily, particularly when emerging from their nests for the first time.
I realize he’s running on instinct, but that second dude was in for a bad time as soon as he started trying to catch it.
3. Forget avocado toast, this is the real reason why millennials can’t afford houses.
How’re you supposed to save up for a down payment when the price of used rocks has gotten so out of hand?
Reddit | wildwoodnature
4. A wiser adult could have warned him that this was a terrible way to…seal the deal.
How amazing would it be if they were going to a festival or a beach or something and she was going out like this?
Imgur | NotaChick
5. Everyone’s out here trying to figure out the Colonel’s secret recipe, but this guy found the real cheat codes for KFC.
I get the feeling that this dude starts a lot of sentences with “Well, technically…”
6. When you run out of money so you just drink whatever you can get your hands on.
Brent had never tried infused water before, but he found that it was every bit as refreshing as he’d been promised.
7. You know how you love drinking beer but you also love the thrill of being constantly on edge about spilling it all over yourself?
So here’s your weekly reminder that just because someone calls something a lifehack doesn’t mean it’s actually going to help anybody.
Reddit | DarthElevator
8. My life would be so much more productive if I didn’t work so hard trying to be funny.
Heck, I’ve stopped writing this list a good dozen times to swap memes with my co-workers.
Instagram | @3.1415926535897932384626433832
9. Sometimes, having an adult around is a good way to stop you from saying something you shouldn’t.
I suppose it’s better than the alternative, but Pappy Jim doesn’t appreciate the reminder of how close he is to kicking it.
Twitter | @WORLDSTAR
10. Who says you need a car to do sweet donuts in the parking lot?
I’ve got to wonder what that horse thinks about what it’s doing. Heck, what do horses think of any of the stuff we put them through?
11. Caught between a rock and…really just the rock.
The real hero of this story is the poor person working dispatch who has to relay the message that, yes, once again, Officer Dougie has stranded yet another cruiser on yet another giant rock.
12. He isn’t just good at being passive-aggressive, he Excels at it.
I hope to some day grow up to care about something as much as this guy cares about Likes.
Twitter | @nochillposts
13. If you can’t take her somewhere sweet, take her somewhere Sweet-ish.
Honestly, this is kind of brilliant. It tells her that you’re economical and that you’re probably handy enough to follow basic instructions when it comes to building cheap cabinets.
Twitter | @mpstevenson1
14. Me, when people tell me to stay in my lane.
Just how new at bowling do you have to be for this to happen? It takes work for me to just get that ball to the pins, let alone launch it to the moon.
15. A choice was made here.
Sure, having a baby can change your life, but if Snickers commercials have taught me anything, it’s that if I don’t eat chocolate on the regular, I’ll transform into Maury Povich or something.
16. A strong argument for Uber drivers having co-pilots.
Or maybe Dinesh is actually a genius who just invented a new ride-sharing boat service called, I dunno, Flote, or something.
Instagram | @will_ent
17. Alright, Mitchell, you’ve screwed up in the past, but can we at least trust you with the cake?
Honestly, doesn’t matter, got cake. Plus, what better gift can you get someone than making them D-list famous on the internet for a week or so?
18. I can’t say for certain, but I’d be willing to wager that she’s been sampling the merchandise at work.
I’d just walk off the job, skip down, and change my name.
19. Can’t stop, won’t stop.
Somewhere in the vast expanse between irony and reckless endangerment of human life, you can find this driver. I’d say they should have taken an Uber, but who knows where Dinesh would have ended up this time?
20. There’s something to be said for knowing that your life is going to peak early.
But, like the old saying goes, when in Prome, do as the Promans do. Apparently the Promans get regrettable tattoos.
21. Because the important thing about any inspirational tattoo is to couch it inside painful self-deprecation.
But seriously, why though? That’s not a cover up! It’s supposed to look like that! Like, hey tattoo artist, could you please give me a tattoo that looks like the guy from V for Vendetta decided to vandalize my self-loathing prison tattoo?
Instagram | @vi.comedy
22. Being a parent doesn’t mean you don’t need your own adult supervision.
You know what? No. I take that back. This hairstyle is dope and everyone needs to just relax.
Imgur | kopox
23. When it comes to picking the right nail polish, she really used her noodle.
I’m being 100% genuine when I tell you that I have a wall in my house painted this color. The store called it “macaroni and cheese,” and it makes me hungry every single time I look at it.
Instagram | @frostedwheats
24. When someone offers you a giant mystery egg, you say “no!”
What started off as a curiosity soon took over Willow’s whole life when the egg started to hatch. The beast’s hunger knew no end and many lives were lost.